Forever in My Heart
by phoenix-rises-from-the-ashes
Summary: Oneshot from Hitsugaya's POV on Hinamori and the Aizen fiasco, his feelings and thoughts. A songfic. Some spoilers. Check out the song! Please read and review!


Disclaimer: I do not own anything here – Bleach was invented by another genius

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything here – Bleach was invented by _another_ genius.

**About this story: **I wrote this on Hitsugaya's point of view and it's as if he's talking to Hinamori. This happens when Hinamori is in her Aizen inflicted coma so there are quite a few spoilers up to around episode 63. The song here might sound a little awkward, but that is because it is a Mandarin song that I translated from into English. Please review my story and tell me what you think. Enjoy!

I stand by your bedside where you lie. You look so weary and alone, trapped in a darkness of your own making. Your beautiful eyes are closed and your dark hair curls limply around your pale face. Your rosy warmth has evaporated, as has your merry laughter, which has always caused my heart to quicken, a reaction that Matsumoto is unusually perceptive of. But then again, I do not blush very easily.

I sigh.

I have not heard that musical voice that I always turn around to listen to for so long.

_Whenever I hear your voice_

_I experience this unique emotion_

_Making me constantly remember_

_I'm scared to forget you_

I am told that I can awaken you, that I have alone the power to revive you, so why do I not do so?

In truth…I am frightened. I am constantly thinking of your smiling face, yet constantly plagued by the memory of the anger blazing in your eyes when you attacked me. I do not wish to awaken you, when you hold my heart in your delicate hand for now and always, if it means that you will awaken and hate me. I would rather that you stay asleep, remembering you as you were before, even if the pain of missing you hurts so badly, even if I am being so unbearably selfish in thinking only of myself.

I'm scared.

_I remember that there is someone _

_Who will forever stay in my heart_

_Even if I can only miss you this way_

My dreams of you and I have always been just that: dreams that have no way of obtaining reality. You are the lieutenant of the Fifth Division, and I the Captain of the Tenth. You follow with your heart Aizen Sousuke, loving him with devotion and fierce loyalty – the very man I seek to destroy for his cruelty and evil. You raised your sword against me in order to follow his wishes, the wishes of a "dead" man. Oh, how words can hurt…how actions can hurt even more.

But if there really exists such a day when all loving dreams are brought to life, believe me, please, when I swear that I will be man enough then to protect you, to love you, as your sweetness and inner beauty deserves. I will not change from the prickly Shiro-chan that you know, the boy that you love, but I will change inside myself, to become the man I will grow to be someday, a man who can love you as you deserve, who you can love back with all your heart.

_If there really is such a day_

_Dreams of love can come to life_

_I will try my very hardest_

_To treat you right and never change_

I don't care how long such an endeavor might take – if there is such a day, if there is a spark of flame that exists only in my dreams at present, burning in life; then I will finally have the courage to awaken you, to talk to you, to whisper to you the words etched in my heart. Until then, my dreams of love are vanquished by my fears that you will still hate me when you wake. So, selfish coward that I am, I deny you your right, forcing you to cling to your protection of darkness and dreams.

_It doesn't matter how far the road there will be_

_We will definitely make it come true_

_I will quietly whisper in your ear_

_Whisper in your ear_

But someday, when I am man enough, brave enough, strong enough, I will awaken you, and I will make my dream – our dream – come true. I will finally pluck up the courage to tell you face-to-face the words I have carried in my heart for so long:

"I love you. I love you more than anything else in the world."

For it is true – I have loved you for as long as I can remember, since before I knew the name for such a terrible and wonderful force, and will continue to love, with that blazing, unquenchable fire within my heart, for as long as I live. No matter what obstacles we face, I will continue loving you. Your anger and hatred against me cut me to the heart, but did not weaken my love for you one bit. I will stay always by your side, whether we are fighting hollows together or whether I am standing by your bedside trying desperately to help you destroy your inner demons. That is who I am.

_I love you, am loving you_

_Just like how a mouse loves rice_

_Whatever the hardships we face_

_I will always remain by your side_

Presently, I am missing you, missing you so deeply. Without your sweet laughter and your musical voice, I am missing a part of my heart, my soul. I love you. That is why, no matter how much you hurt me, no matter how much it just about killed me to see you clutch Aizen's letter to your heart and scream at me for murdering him, to see you slashing at me with your sword, trying to kill me, to hear you whispering Aizen Sousuke's name with such devotion even when he stabbed you viciously as you embraced him – despite all of that, I will give anything to make you happy. I will give anything to see the sparkle back in your hazel eyes, the smile back on your sweet lips, the rosy color back in your cheeks, to hear my nickname uttered affectionately from your lips.

As long as you are happy, I will do anything, because really, I love you, and when you are happy, I am happy too.

"I love you, Hinamori."

The words slip from my lips. Your hand quivers slightly, your brow puckers perceptibly. I smile sadly. Not yet. I am not brave enough yet. But someday, I will be, and when that time comes, I will finally be able to put into words my feelings, to awaken you, to love you, to make our dreams come true. But for now, this will suffice:

"I love you, Hinamori."

And truly, I do.

_I miss you, missing you _

_No matter what sufferings I face,_

_As long as you can be happy_

_I am willing to do anything_

_I love you this way_

_I love you this way_

**A/N: **So what do you think? Loved it? Hated it? Please tell me! Reviews are welcome, constructive criticism is devoured, but give me a little praise, pretty please? I don't own Bleach, Hitsugaya and Hinamori, this Mandarin song (go to youtube and search lao shu ai da mi – the English translation is Mouse Loves Rice- it is really awesome), or the AMV, which somebody else who goes by the username of **kawaiiQQ** worked hard on and made. So please give all credit for the video to her. All I did was translate the lyrics and write the thing. But please review!


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